How Do I Balance My Important Relationships Between My Man & My God? By Dr. Nicole
Do you remember playing on the see-saw as a kid? As one side went up the uneven distribution of weight caused the other side to go down and make for fun times with friends. Well, the ups and downs still have their place in our lives but unlike the see-saw, we want an even distribution of weight that enables us to remain upright and steady – We want balance! As women, we especially desire this in two of our most important relationships, that with God and our men. The target is not perfection and its definitely not unsteadiness. The themes below seek to support our journey toward greater balance in two areas we all value.
Be Authentic, Be You… Here’s the irony, imbalance is guaranteed when you choose not to be your true self. Among other things, our relationship with God desires intimacy, submission, and connection. It requires honesty and authenticity wherever we are. One of the greatest threats to balance occurs when we decide to be two different people in our romantic and spiritual life. Closeness in both requires you to show up as you truly are.
Agree To Be Agreed… The ability for you and your mate to agree that God is the ultimate authority in your lives is extremely critical to a sense of balance. Not only does it serve to increase confidence in your mates’ decision-making, it also promotes a sense of peace that his guidance comes from the same authority you trust. Aligning and choosing to walk together in whatever life brings is an action toward balance all by itself. Even in times when you favor another decision or path, balance will still be best achieved with agreement. Your agreement to surrender to God that HE has the power to change or right any course of action.
Choose To Communicate… Balance will often result from the consistency and quality of your verbal and non-verbal communication. How much are you talking, listening, and hearing? What exactly are you saying? How well are you using communication to nurture the growth of both relationships? For example: Are you praising God and affirming your mate? How is your prayer life personally and as a couple? Are you vulnerable and transparent? Your quest for balance is diminished and worst yet threatened when you don’t embrace the power of your spoken and unspoken words. Especially when we’re required to speak the truth in love. Often our communication is one of the best displays we have of our relationship with HIM and often the best template by which to communicate with him.
Cultivate Your Gifts, Embrace Your Calling… It’s difficult to achieve a sense of balance if you refuse to own your God given purpose. Purpose, calling, divine reason for being, however you identify it, it’s what makes you uniquely you. So, good luck trying to achieve balance without embracing it. God wants what HE designed in you to be manifested in your life. HE wants you to allow your gifts and talents to be cultivated for HIS agenda. That said, balance will require that your mate know, accept, and support HIS assignment and the time, effort, and energy requiring your obedience. Together, honoring the call God has on each of your lives will serve as a collective mission that’s “necessary” versus “a necessary inconvenience”.
Master Your Time… Anything that’s out of alignment is off track. When you seek to have mastery of your time, you align your time with your intentions. And, balance is uniquely positioned in how you spend your time. With God as the center, will you chose to spend your time in ways that declare your love for HIM and him? Will you take the time to celebrate and protect what brought and kept you together? Will you hold tight to love and use your time to make fond memories that steady the journey together? Remember, just because you call a man “your man” doesn’t make him your mate. So, balance with him will continue to allude you. The difference is, the right mate, God’s man will be a “gift” who “blesses” the blessing in “you”!